Divorce can be avoided

Divorce can be Avoided

Divorce. It's a bad word. But in the past 50 years it's become a common word of our vocabulary and a common part of our lives. Everyone knows someone who has gotten divorced. Some of us will know someone who has been divorced more than once. But divorce never used to be the norm. People would get married and stay married. They'd work through their problems, tough out the hard times and endure where today most couples just give up. Truth is, we’re disconnected and yet we’ve never been more connected. This is where a counselor can help.

Whether it’s ending a common-law partnership or traditional marriage, divorce can be costly, not only monetarily, but emotionally as well. If children are involved the stakes change. If there’s property, that must be dealt with. Most Canadians think that should divorce happen to them that their partner will be fair and honest, but “you never really know someone until you divorce them.” It is important to understand that seeking guidance is not an admittance of failure; it is an acknowledgment that your relationship means something to you. It means that you are willing to try anything rather than give up on your marriage/relationship.

These days, in Canada, more couples are choosing to remain in a common-law union over entering traditional marriage. (A common-law partnership is still a legal union under Ontario law.) According to Statistics Canada, in 2010/11 there were more than 53,000 divorce cases going through Ontario courts. That’s 40 per cent of marriages ending in divorce. In fact, according to Statistics Canada, divorce rates are going down, but this may have to do with more couples choosing to never get legally married.

Married couples are not the only couples that may require guidance. All couples can benefit from counseling. For instance, making the decision to take a relationship to the next level can change the dynamics of your partnership. If unprepared or inexperienced, this transition could cause problems both of you are unprepared for. A counselor could help address these issues so both parties can learn to live together in a healthy and loving manner.

The world has changed much in the past twenty years or even the past century. The traditional family became the nuclear family. Even now family isn’t what it was when we were children. How we relate to each other has changed. But no matter what kind of relationship you are in or how you view it; divorce can be avoided. It’s not always the easiest way out or the best option, especially if you still love your partner.