Divorce can be avoided

Three common reasons why most couples go to Marriage counselling

If you’ve been having problems in your marriage or relationship, you may not have considered that counseling could help you and your spouse solve your issues. It can be daunting to invite someone else into the personal world of your partnership and home-life. It can be confusing to know when you should seek help or for what which reasons – if they are important enough or big enough. The truth is any issue, bad or good, can benefit from counseling.

It may be possible that only one of you is willing to seek guidance. Do not let this be a deterrent. This does not mean the other person does not care about the relationship. Sometimes it takes a while for people to get comfortable with the idea of counseling. It’s common for people have doubts about the effectiveness of therapy. It’s also difficult for some people to admit they may need help, or to ask for help. So what’s a good reason to get help? Here are the three most common reasons people seek guidance and counseling from a professional.

Trust Issues
Trust is an important building block of every relationship. It is also probably one of the easiest things to break and the hardest to rebuild. Loss of trust can create doubt, and doubt can break the bond that holds two people together. Signs of trust issues can be absent and hard to pin point, but if there is increasing suspicion, raised doubts and/or skepticism, and a general feeling cynicism from either partner, you may be experiencing trust issues. A trained counselor can give guidance and support, often pulling a relationship out of a hole and back onto solid ground.

Partners need to be willing to accept that something is wrong and they need to be willing to forgive. Without forgiveness rebuilding trust is very difficult. A marriage counselor can help the both of you see what is amiss and can help bring you to the point of forgiveness and then begin to heal your trust issues. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution.

Resentment
Not everyone is Mother Theresa. Some people have a difficult time with forgiveness or letting go. Unfortunately not being able to let things go will almost always cause problems. Resentment often starts with a very simple and seemingly small issue. Over time this small issue can brew inside a person, festering and creating negative feelings toward the other person. Things like holding grudges, placing blame, finding faults and rehashing the past can result in hurt feelings. These are signs of resentment brewing and it’s best to stop it before it gets out of control or creates a slew of other stresses.

If dealt with, resentment can be worked through and positive feelings can take its place. The first step is acknowledging its existence. The second step is to talk about it or even act out how it’s making you feel. Often people will over-analyze what they think is bothering them, but a trained counselor can help you learn to work with your problems instead of work against them.

Lack of sex
At some point sex becomes an important part of a loving relationship. The physical connection of love helps to create an emotional bond and a deeper closeness. A low libido, lack of interest, low self-esteem, poor body image or even a busy lifestyle can affect a couple’s sex life. Issues can also arise when your sex life suddenly changes or if one person wants to be intimate and the other doesn’t, for whatever reasons. It is important to be open and honest – communicate, as always – whether you’re the person wanting to have intercourse or not. This may be a difficult to involve a therapist into such a personal level of your life, but if you don’t talk about it, acknowledge there is an issue or come to terms with your feelings, these issues may not go away.

If a relationship begins to become strained from trust issues, resentment or lack of intimacy a rift can start and the bond you share can start to breakdown. You and your partner may start to grow apart emotionally, mentally and spiritually. This can be very difficult to mend. A counselor can help you and your partner re-learn to communicate and help mend your broken bond. Even if you’re worried of what you may learn about yourself or your partner, your counselor will be gentle and discreet as their number one priority is to help you. If you decide that saving your relationship and re-establishing your bond is important to you, seeking counseling would be beneficial and helpful step to a happier and healthier companionship.